Off piste ? Off your rocker, more likely, in these conditions and with your experience. Now push off and stop being silly. Which was not the answer one of our lifties gave to a couple of complete greenhorns asking about off piste skiing the other day, but probably should have been.
Off piste (or freeriding, backcountry, out of bounds etc) is the super-cool activity of the moment, what masses of holiday skiers aspire to, brought almost within their grasp by the fat (or possibly phat) skis with which every manufacturer out there is busily flooding the market. And they make the powder skiing experience easier, without a doubt, but you do still need to be able to ski in the first place. (They also make you look very silly when you’re standing in a lift queue clutching them on a day when we haven’t had fresh snow for weeks and the pistes are rock solid, but never mind.)
The phrase ‘off piste’ covers a multitude of sins as well, from cut-throughs and powder stashes next to the marked runs, through the well established ‘itineraire’ routes accessible in every resort, to rock-strewn couloirs, miles-from-anywhere descents involving a two-day hike, and bits of Alaska accessible only by helicopter, where part of the challenge is having to leap over bergshrunds to escape ravening bears.
But are you up to it, half way through your fourth week on snow and listening enviously to gnarly-looking blokes swapping avalanche stories in the bar? If we’re talking Alaska and bears, I’d say probably not. If you’re asking the lifties for advice, then definitely not, because most of them wouldn’t have a clue - they’re doing the job because it pays well and the hours aren’t anti-social. If you’re an obsessive ski freak you don’t apply for anything which involves working while the lifts are running. So if you know even less than the lifties do, you really need to stay put. I’d hazard a guess that you didn’t bring a pile of mountaineering gear with you, what with Ryanair’s baggage allowance permitting not much more than one crampon and a karabiner, so the two day hike option is probably out as well.
So where does this leave the aspiring holiday freerider? Well, if you just want a day’s taster, most of the ski schools will take out an off-piste group each week. (Yes I know, going with teacher isn’t the manly thing you see in the ski movies. Do you want to survive to boast about this or not?) Or you can book an instructor privately just for you and your mates. Not the cheapest option but arguably the most fun. Quite a few schools also run assessment sessions where they chuck you down the steepest mogul-infested runs they can find before they admit you to the group for the following day’s trip. Prepare to be humbled if you sign up for one of these – I’ve met numerous skiers batting around the pistes who have done the trial afternoon and decided that perhaps they don’t fancy La Grave after all and maybe they’ll just cruise around and have a nice lunch instead thanks.
If you’re confident that you know more or less what you’re doing (ie not only can you ski a bit but you also know one end of an avalanche transceiver from the other) then hire a guide rather than an instructor, but remember that you have paid for his professional opinion, and if you ignore it then you’re not exactly getting value for money. ‘Don’t go down there because you will probably die’ is just as valuable a piece of advice as ‘why don’t you huck this huge gnarly cliff drop and look really cool’. OK it’s more boring and less likely to impress your mates in the bar (assuming you make it back to the bar) but it’s still worth listening to if you ask me.
Gosh, I’m such a miserable old bat me, aren’t I? Don’t do this, don’t do that, it’s all horribly dangerous and stupid – I sound like your Granny. But in common with your Granny, I’d really like to see you survive your holiday, have fun and come back to spend money with us again next year. Sign up for that day out in La Grave, week’s off piste course with Fresh Tracks, whatever. Push yourself, learn new techniques, explore your limits. But don’t take the piss. Serious off piste skiing is nothing like the man-made playground which is the modern ski resort – if you want to do it out there on your own In terrain you don’t know you’re going to need a whole battery of winter mountaineering skills which take years to acquire. And which, let’s be honest, the manly chaps in the ski movies generally don’t have either – what do you think all those ‘technical advisers’ were being paid for?
© Christa GIMBLETT
